I choose balance.
I was recently told by someone, “I choose me.” Honestly, it sounded a bit selfish. As a mom, many times, I’m the last person that I think about. I put my needs above those of my family. I’m not a selfish person.
But, it’s also important that you don’t neglect yourself.
How do you live your life? Do you need to add a little balance?
Balance - an even distribution of weight enabling someone to remain upright and steady.
Maintaining balance is a tricky one! Some days I feel that I’m being tugged in one direction and then violently pulled in the other direction. It’s like a game of tug a war with a professional football team on the tugging end. But, other days I feel good. I feel like I’ve been able to balance all aspects of my life - being a mom, being a business owner, being a friend, and making time for myself.
When you have obligations, it’s important to look at the choices you make. I could let my career take over my life, travel for my job and neglect holidays spent with my daughter (aka not having a balanced life). I could live the life and party it up - making it all about me. But, that’s not the person I am and not the life I’m choosing. That’s not the choice that I made once I became a mom. Yes, it could be fun. But, my job is as a mom. My priority is on raising my child. It doesn’t mean that I don’t let my hair down every once in a while (aka balance). But, it doesn’t mean I neglect my child by putting my work and social schedule first.
I also chose to be a sober mom. If I only had to think about myself, then boozing it up would probably still be something that I did. I wanted to be a better person for me and for my daughter. She deserves a mom who has a clear head, wakes up on time and doesn’t live in a buzzed world.
My best friend started having kids a bit earlier than I did. She was busy raising her amazing children. (One of the reasons why they are so amazing was because she put the job of being a mom first.) Now that her kids are 18 and 21, she’s able to enjoy week vacations without her kids and nights at the casinos. She put the needs of her children first. Yes, she’d spend time with her husband and had overnight work meetings, but she didn’t neglect the big moments like seeing her kids dress up for Halloween or miss an Easter egg hunt. She balanced out her work life with her family life.
So, where are your priorities? What is important to you?
I think it needs to become more about choosing a healthy balance and not choosing one thing over the other. It’s not about choosing yourself or not choosing yourself.
Here’s some ways to lead more of a balanced life:
- Maintain a balance of what you need and what those around you need
- Learn to say no
- Be a little selfish
- Don’t neglect your spouse or children, put them first
- Balance activities with friends
- Realize it’s ok if there is something else you would rather do
- Boundaries are set for reasons and don’t feel bad if others don’t respect your boundaries
- It may be the time to rethink a relationship with friends or family - are you giving too much to them and not enough to those who are truly important
- It’s ok to not always being a people pleaser
- Love yourself
- Find happiness from within you (other people, places or things shouldn’t make you happy)
- Love the life you are leading. If you don’t love your life, look inside and be true to yourself and what needs to change.
- Don’t neglect important responsibilities.
- Be a better time manager so you have time for what matters
For me, it’s selfish to choose myself. This is especially true because I have responsibilities. I entered into that life and automatically took on the role of realizing I put my needs above others, I’d compromise, I’d give, I’d be exhausted, but you knew what I was getting myself into.
Maybe, it’s time to rethink your life and what’s important to you. Maybe it’s time to lead a more balanced life.
* I actually used to teach other how to live a more balanced life. But, that was back before I was a mom and a wife. It was easy for me to tell people what they should do, but now I'm actually living the life with a lot more going on. I look forward to finding more balance in my life in the coming year.